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Brian and Wil

Brian & Wil FamilyBrian and Wil, who were married in a same sex union, always dreamed of being parents. Together, they hoped to raise children in a healthy, same sex home, focusing on love and family values.  Brian and Wil both grew up in big families and wanted to start their own family, modeling for their children what love should be. Their inherent sexuality bore no influence on their hopes and desires to be a parent. They knew that their supportive connection from extended family along with their strong morals and values, would create a loving environment for any child.  

 

Once Brian and Wil decided it was time to become parents, they explored many different resources from adoption agencies, invitro/surrogate procedures and adoption options oversees. The cost for any of these options were extremely expensive and some had no guarantees of adoption. It was frustrating for them to say the least. They were telling one of their good friends, who at one point worked for DCF, about their journey exploring options along with their overwhelming feelings of defeat. She asked why they hadn’t considered DCF. Brian candidly explained “we never considered DCF and did not see much information about the agency during our research online. We were very hesitant to explore this option, thinking that DCF is not going to let a gay couple, raise a child, but decided to see if we were going to be rejected. We had our own perception of being rejected or denied because of our sexual orientation but, we were wrong!”

 

Brian said that he and Wil have been blessed from the very minute they walked into the Bridgeport DCF area office. With the amazing, compassionate social work staff, who, rather than judge – guided, making the process informative and supportive with no judgment or biases.

 

When asked if there were any barriers that they experienced as a gay couple, Brian explained “the only barriers were the ones that we created”. Explaining that their fear of fostering and then potentially having to give the child back, was difficult to overcome. Understanding the Department’s vision and mission, they were fully aware that reunification to the birth family was a priority. Brian acknowledge the risks of the heart but knew that he and Wil were providing a stable and loving home for the children, for as long as they needed them. ForBrian & Wil's kids these Dads, beautiful Harper Rose and Harlow James would need them, forever.

 

Harper was born on August 9th, 2016 and was adopted two years later. Brian and Will were placed with Harper right after she was born and, Harlow, who was born on February 2nd, 2019, was adopted a year and a half later. He was placed with Brian and Wil at six months of age.

 

Brain said that “Wil and I agreed we wanted to raise our children with the most transparency we could about adoption.”  The couple has open adoption agreements with both of the children’s families. Harper talks to her mom often on a cell phone that we set up in our home for the kid’s parents to contact us and we can contact them. Harlow’s grandmother stays connected through email, with correspondences and shared pictures. Harlow’s parents did not want contact.

 

Brian is a strong and vocal advocate for DCF adoptions. He believes that the LGBTQ community is unaware of not only the agencies needs but they are also unaware of the departments willingness to consider all couples, regardless of their sexual orientation, for foster care and adoption. “Love is love”, and there are many children in need. Knowledge can make all the difference in the world.

 

When asked what he would say to a same sex couple, contemplating making that call to the KID HERO line. Without hesitation, Brian said - “Do it! Make the call! It will most likely be the most rewarding thing you can do to become a parent and never fear rejection. You will be surprised when you sit down and talk with a social worker at DCF and think, why did I not do this sooner”

 

Brian strongly encourages our department to share real-life special interest stories to engage the community and to dispel those myths and misconceptions that are still so prevalent. “There should be no stereotype to being a good parent. Gay, straight, single! The more we share and educate, we will lessen the fear and more people will be exploring this option”.

 

Brian Moutinho and Wil Vitali are Dad’s to Harper, age 3 and Harlow, age 2.
They are currently pursuing an out of state placement of Harper’s birth sibling.
Brian has also been a huge supporter of CAFAF’s, Avenue of Dreams,
connecting his former upper management position at,
Franseca’s Woman’s Boutiques, with this project.