State of Connecticut Advocates' Corner

Having a Partner

You can know people in different ways.
  • You know some people very well… like friends and family.
  • You spend lots of time together.
  • You trust each other.
  • You can tell them secrets and talk about anything.
But one person in your life may be special.
  • This person is like your best friend, but even closer.
  • This person may make you feel loved, happy, or excited. Picture of a Couple and a Dog
  • This person can be called:
    • A boyfriend or girlfriend
    • A husband or wife
    • A lover
    • A partner
People choose one other person to be their partner.
  • If you pick a person and that person pick you, then...
  • Both of you have a ‘relationship’.
Partners in a relationship like to:
  • Be together a lot of the time
  • Kiss and hug
  • Hold hands
  • Touch each other
  • Sometimes they also choose to have sex
In a healthy relationship both of you make choices.
  • Both of you choose when you want to be together.
  • Both of you choose what you want to do together.
  • Both of you choose if you want to:
    • Kiss,
    • Touch each other, or
    • Have sex.
Sex can be part of a healthy relationship.
  • You can have sex only if both of you want to.
  • You do NOT have to have sex with anyone if you don’t want to!
  • If both of you choose to have sex, talk about safe sex first.
Do you have a healthy relationship?
  • Do you make choices together about what to do?
  • Do you feel safe with your partner?
  • Do you feel good when you are with him or her?
  • Do you share feelings and ideas?
  • Do you talk about it when you disagree?
  • If so, it sounds like you have a healthy relationship.
  • Do you have an unhealthy relationship?
  • Do you feel sad, angry, scared, or worried around your partner?
  • Does your partner make you do things you do not want to do?
  • Do you hide feelings from each other?
  • Do you yell or hurt each other when you disagree?
  • If so, it sounds like you do not have a healthy relationship.
You can get hurt in an unhealthy relationship.
  • If you think your relationship is not healthy, you should talk to:
  • A friend or family member that you trust,
  • Someone from your church, or
  • A counselor.
  • If your partner hits you, call 911 or tell someone you trust today!
Relationships can make you have strong feelings.
  • You may have different feelings about your partner at different times:
    • Happy
    • Excited
    • In love
  • Or sometimes:
    • Angry
    • Frustrated
    • Hurt
In a healthy relationship you can always talk about how you feel.
  • Tell your partner how you feel.
  • Talk about good feelings and bad feelings.
  • Talk to close friends and family about your relationship, too.
  • If you need to talk to someone else, ask your support person to help you find a counselor.