“Redefining Dyslexia" Madeline and Marissa Vallillo Madeline (00:00) Hi, I'm Madeline Vallillo and I'm a junior at Fairfield Ludlowe High School. Marissa (00:05) Hi, my name is Marissa Vallillo and I am the mom of Madeline. Madeline (00:10) Do you remember when we first started trying to figure out how to manage my dyslexia? What was that experience like for you? Marissa (00:18) So, I didn't know what dyslexia was, honestly. And I noticed something different for Madeline when she was in preschool. So we would read books and our little sound cards. And it felt like every time I went through it, she couldn't read anything. It was like the first time she ever saw it, every time. And I couldn't figure out why she couldn't remember these letters and the words that went with it. I don't know that I would have known that if I didn't have two other kids that were able to do it, to be honest. It took us years to figure out that she had dyslexia. I actually got a reading teacher to come and teach her after school to see if there was something because no one could uncover it for me. And she too was like, yeah, there's something, but she didn't even know. So I thought it was a short-term memory thing. I didn't know it was dyslexia. I thought she just couldn't remember. And they made us go through years of levels of reading. And I thought, how much time are we gonna spend here figuring out that she can't read? And so I started just myself trying to figure it out. I felt like that was so overwhelming, not knowing, not being an expert and having to figure it out for your own child. When you have all these experts around you that couldn't tell you a single thing. Madeline (01:35) I feel like there wasn't that much awareness towards it than there is today. I mean, there's definitely more awareness today, but still not enough. Marissa (01:41) When you talk about dyslexia, you're like, oh, oh does that mean she reverses her letters? Madeline (01:46) Yeah, nobody knows. Marissa Nobody knows! Can you imagine? Even teachers, they do not know what this is. Madeline Nobody knows. When I tell my when my friends or teachers or anyone like if you tell them you have dyslexia they're wait do the words like switch on a page for you I'm like, oh my god, like no like the words do not jump around on the page like I'm seeing fine I don't I don't I don't understand. Marissa (01:48) Like she has to pave new pathways in her brain is literally the only way to explain it. Can you think of a time when we both felt overwhelmed by your dyslexia and how did we get through it together? Madeline (02:20) I think a time where we both felt overwhelmed was, I mean, I was so young but I still felt overwhelmed was when I first got diagnosed with dyslexia because I didn't know what it was. I mean I was in, what? Second grade. I mean I had no idea. Marissa It wasn’t till the end of first grade. Madeline No idea. I remember my mom, she was like telling me about going to tutoring and this and I was like, none of my friends have to go to tutoring. Like I have to get pulled out of the classroom every day. Like this is not fair. I would have to miss, I remember I had to miss my specials, remember that? PE and music. It was the biggest deal to me. I was like, that is not fair. I would cry all the time. It was, it was a disaster. Marissa How about the summer tutoring? Madeline Yeah, I had to go through some tutoring. It was awful. Marissa All summer long. Madeline I think definitely when I got diagnosed with dyslexia was overwhelming for sure. And I think for you too, because you didn't know what it is. Marissa Finding the right people to help her. Even Special Ed, like they didn't even know how to do Wilson. Madeline Yeah. Marissa I had to fight to get someone to do the Wilson. Madeline (03:24) And I had my tutor, when we met her, like automatically fell in love with her. I mean, she was amazing. She is still to this day the best person ever. Un, and I spent about five or six years with her, all 12 steps. It took me forever, but it was the best feeling when it was over. Because when I got through the last book, I was like, wait, now what? I was just so happy, I guess. But I was in shock that I had finished it. Marissa (03:54) For me, going through this process with Madeline, it was such a challenge to get through grammar school and then middle school. And I was really worried about high school because I knew things were going to come faster and faster, a lot more information to process, and not necessarily the time to break it down for her. This year, she wanted to take AP classes. Her guidance counselor and the staff that's part of her like, Special Ed team didn't think it was a good idea. We were worried that she wouldn't be able to do it. And she was very frustrated that we told her not to take the classes. So she took it. And we had our annual meeting just a couple of weeks ago. I could cry when I think about this. And her guidance counselor said, I'm so sorry that I doubted you. She's worked so hard to get through it. And, um, I think it's so emotional for me because I know it's hard for her. She has to study three times harder than most kids get through it. But she's doing it, and um, she's doing it well. So I'm super proud of her. Madeline (05:00) Yeah, I remember coming out of that meeting and I was just like, I was so mad. I walked down the hallway and I was like, almost in tears because I was like, no way, he just told me that I couldn't do that. And I was so determined to do it. I was like, he's not telling me what to do. I mean, I have to go home and like, read a textbook every day. So it's definitely a lot, but I've been able to hold like a steady B. So I'm pretty proud of myself. How do you think working through my dyslexia has brought us closer as a family? Marissa (05:29) Well, I think you know that even though I attend or appear to be very annoying all the time and pushing and making sure that you've got what you need, you know that I'm like always, I'm always in your corner. Like I'm always there ready to fight with you or help you or advocate for you or tell people, you know, what you need. Madeline (05:51) Yeah, I agree. I feel like if I ever need anything like I can just go to my I can just go to my mom because she'll always be there to help me. And she taught me how to like advocate for myself. Like if it wasn't for her I don't think I would be here right now Marissa (05:59) Yeah, I think when she was young, I'd be like, well, know, Madeline has got dyslexia. And people were like, and she would be like, Ugh, why you tell everybody? Madeline Yeah, she would always tell everyone, she had to tell everyone and I would be like… what? They don’t need to know. Marissa But I wanted them to know because I wanted them to know that it was harder for her and that she had to work harder and she was going to achieve the goals that she needed to achieve. I'll tell this story and I know you're not going to like it, but we are doing college visits. And so one of the schools that we went to, is a really nice school and it's hard to get into. And I knew, and I knew this was going to be the moment that I've been waiting for. We walk onto the campus. The campus is beautiful. She loves the school and she starts crying. And she said, it's just not fair. This is the school I'd love to go to, and I can't get in here. And this, this is just not fair. I work hard, I study. So she's crying as we're doing the tour. And I'm not pushing her to go to any school. I'm taking her to all these different schools. But like, she can't go there. Why? She can't go there because one, her test scores would have to be through the roof. And two, I don't know that they would give her the services that she would need for her best learning. You have to make sure as we go through this process, like trying to figure out the right school for her that has those services, they're far and few between. I'll be honest with you. But they're not, they’re not necessarily the school that she'd want to go to. And that's crazy to me too. Because again, you've got a really smart kid that really wants to push herself and do well and you know, go to a specific school, and they can't. And I think that is just so disheartening. So, Madeline (07:53) I'm not the best test taker, especially in, like, the time thing. I do have extra time. But I will sit there and I have to read the passage and I will like read it maybe like five or six times before, and then I get through all the questions. And it's just a lot. And I still don't get a good score, which is so annoying to me. There's no doubt in my mind that I'm gonna study really hard and I'm gonna get there, and I will do it, but I mean it's just, it's very. Marissa (08:27) It feels inequitable for somebody that has learning disability to make them take that test. Madeline (08:31) I don't think a test should really define your ability, your knowledge Marissa Your abilities, yeah. Madeline Or how smart you are. It shouldn't, it really shouldn't. And that's like, the disadvantage, especially for kids with dyslexia. Marissa (08:46) And they don't know when you're applying to colleges if you have dyslexia. And I think that's crazy to me. Madeline (08:53) My advice to anyone struggling with dyslexia is just know that dyslexia doesn't define who you are and it doesn't define your knowledge to be able to do anything. It's probably so overwhelming and so hard right now, but it may feel like you're not ever going to make progress or feel better about it, but you just have to keep going because it's really, really worth it in the end. Marissa (09:23) There's nothing wrong with being dyslexic. You're so smart when you're a dyslexic kid. It's just that they have to learn a different way to achieve their goals. And it could be like a superpower in the sense that they can overcome it if they know what this is and like they will fight for what's right for them. I'm not saying to celebrate it, but just put it out there, embrace it. Madeline (09:44) I mean, I embrace it. I'm here talking about it. I'm not embarrassed of myself. Marissa (09:49) Yeah. Madeline I mean, it's not a bad thing. I actually think it's pretty cool.