"Out of the Box" Luca and Nicole Bacile Luca (00:00) Hello, I am Luca Bacile from Enfield, Connecticut and I am in 12th grade. Nicole (00:05) Hi, I'm Nicole Bacile and I'm the proud mother of Luca Bacile and this is our story. It seemed like when you were little, you knew everything there was to know, but when it came time to the educational foundations of writing and reading, um, it wasn't something that you were really interested in. It wasn't something that came easy to you. Luca (00:34) Like, I couldn't write or I couldn't spell or was just not clicking like I was for other kids. It's just like something in my brain where it was just hard to learn and it wasn't being taught to me the right way. Nicole (00:47) We were getting the support from the teacher, Luca Mhm Nicole But not from the school itself because they didn't know what to do or they didn't have the resources to help you. And so pushing you on to the next grade just made it… Luca (01:07) Even worse in a way Nicole (01:15) Made it worse, yeah, and that's when you started losing your self-confidence. Nicole When you couldn't do what they were asking you to do inside that box. In that, everything happens for a reason. Nicole There was a teacher about to retire and she gave me in an envelope, a book and she said, I want you to read this. You cannot tell anyone I gave this to you, but this is gonna help you. So I read it from front to back multiple times and it was like a light bulb. And so I'm like, why, why isn't anyone getting as excited about this as I am? Because they only had one way to teach you. You used to say my eyes can't read this story. And you tried so hard to explain to me what was happening to you. And I would repeat that, to the teachers. And they would be like, well, the more you read to your child, the easier it's going to be for your child to read. I'm like, but that's not working. So after I read that book, I went online and that's when I found the Decoding Dyslexia Connecticut and it was Alison Quiron and some other mothers starting a conversation about, hey, my kid is having a hard time learning to read and dyslexia is… a thing. So then I was like even more excited because now there's a way to help you. Luca Yeah. Nicole And that's when our journey began. And so even the pediatricians like when I said I need help, this is so stressful. And what is dyslexia? The pediatricians didn't have any information on it. Luca (02:58) Cause I feel like it was still so new that we didn't... Nicole (03:01) Yeah, like there's no training and it's not just the dyslexia because once you can't do something as fundamental as reading then it affects your self-esteem and it affects your, your emotions and by second grade you were banging your head. Luca (03:23) Against the table because I couldn't, I just couldn't do it. Nicole (03:26) So it was anxiety, ADHD, dyslexia, dysgraphia. And so all those things put together explained why it was so hard for you to learn how to read in the traditional sense of reading. And there weren't any other alternatives that they had. Luca (03:46) So, it was like one way and I was in the box and it was the only other way that's how you could succeed. Nicole (03:52) And I remember we went to the library, second tutoring session, you had just won state championships for Luca Swimming Nicole Swimming. You could not stop crying. And I was there with you and you were just like, I can't read this. And the teacher didn't understand what was going on. Like she didn't understand why you were crying. And I said, I'm sorry, we can't do this anymore. Luca (04:00) That's when you give me the option. Nicole (04:18) And then you said to me, Mom, because I had always asked you, you want to homeschool? And you were like, I want to homeschool. Yeah. Luca (04:29) I was thankful enough that you got to teach me. Nicole (04:30) I didn't want learning to destroy you and I didn't want you to Luca (04:36) To hate it, I feel like you want me to hate it. You want me to embrace it more Nicole (04:41) Yeah, because I loved learning and I just, I didn't want you to become what you weren't. I wanted you to become what you were and by teaching you in a different way and getting help from people who could help you just become who you were. And so that's when we joined co-ops and it was just a great way to learn. And you never felt different than. Luca (05:08) Or downplayed, or... Nicole (05:10) any of the other students. Luca (05:11) And wasn't, I didn't have to fit in a box anymore. That was the biggest thing I could, cause I could, I was not in the box learner. I was definitely an out of the box learner. And I really got to learn my way for those, uh, four years. What do you think was the next, what do you think was the next big? Nicole (05:27) So we started in third and we made it up to seventh grade and Luca was like, well, I really want to go back to school in eighth grade. So, over the summer I contacted the Special Ed department and said, how do we set up the services that he's going to need for support? And they're like, well, your IEP has expired and you're going to have to start from the beginning again. And so we got him tested… with their school and they're like, no, he's fine. You can get a 504 for his anxiety or his migraines, but you won't be getting an IEP. By October, we were looking for a therapist. He needed anxiety medication and he was very depressed because he wasn't able to Luca (06:18) Get everything done in the t… Nicole (06:26) Get everything done in the time that he was allotted. Yeah. So it was a very trying transition back into… Luca (06:27) Trial and error. and I know those teachers really stuck with me. And I still, still give a lot of thanks to those teachers who helped me get through that year. I was always looking for the next year, which was tough too, when we thought… Nicole (06:41) It took for Luca to fail before we could get them to understand that he, that this is not going to work with just a 504. So we were able to obtain an attorney. And from that November to his senior year right now, he has had the support, the education. Luca (07:11) Once I even just got the little bit of help I needed, that's when I really just kind of put my head down and just worked, worked, worked, worked. And then got to the point I really wanted to and got high honor role. And I take pride in that and what I did. Nicole (07:27) And he's taking an AP class. Luca (07:29) It hasn't been all, it hasn’t been easy. Of course, there's been all those long nights and I had to sacrifice a ton of social time. And as long as I keep a good. um, communication with the teachers, they're always understanding it, and I’m all set from there. I kind of just tell them whenever I need help or I need anything, I just go to them and they'll help me out the best they can. Nicole (07:54) And through Decoding Dyslexia, they had a certain amount of bills go through. And we are so proud that the bills went as far as creating the department, State of Connecticut Department of Dyslexia. Luca (08:10) And now I'm a student ambassador. Nicole (08:23) And Luca's a student ambassador through meeting them and going to their events. Luca now is able to help younger students and hopefully mentor in the future. Luca (08:26) My biggest advice is just to do your best. I think knowing that as long as you try your best, that's all you can do. I think you should be proud of that. I would want teachers to have an understanding that there's got to be more ways of learning out of the box. Some people who don't fit in the learning box and you should be adaptive to that is what I would say. Nicole (08:47) I would say for parents, reach out to other parents. Find your community. There's always someone who's been through a step ahead of you or has so much information and there's so much knowledge. Luca (09:01) And get a good support team around you to really excel. Nicole (09:04) Yeah, you need a village.