“The Right Support” Evan and Jennifer Bernheim Evan (00:00) Hi, I’m Evan, I’m in fifth grade. I'm 11 years old and I like to read and build Legos. Jennifer (00:07) and Jennifer Bernheim, mom to Evan, and just helping Evan navigate his educational journey. It brought me to doing some advocacy work as well. Great. So Evan, tell us a little bit about you and what you enjoy doing. Evan (00:24) I like to be outside, I like to play lacrosse, 3D print stuff, build my Legos and watch TV. Jennifer (00:32) And do you have a really keen ability to be able to see how to put together Legos? Evan Uh-huh. Jennifer Much more so than me, right? Evan Yeah. Jennifer So is it easy for you to visualize these big Lego creations? Evan Yeah. Jennifer Yeah? Do literally see stuff in your head when you're putting it together? Evan Sometimes. Jennifer Sometimes. Very cool. So I think that's a really… neat characteristic perhaps of being dyslexic, right? Evan Yeah. Jennifer You have a really strong visual memory as well. Evan Mhm Jennifer Great. So tell us where you're at in school now. Evan (01:11) I'm at the Southport School in Fairfield. Jennifer (01:14) Right and how long have you been there? Evan 3 years. Jennifer Three years and what's next? Evan Middle school. Jennifer You're going back to public schools. Are you excited? Evan Kind of. Jennifer Kind of. Are you nervous? Evan Yeah. Jennifer Yeah, lots of mixed emotions. What are you most excited about in going back? Evan Getting to see my friends. Jennifer (01:34) Getting to see your friends from the community and friends that you were with in kindergarten and first and second grade, right? Evan Yeah! Jennifer Good. And what are you maybe like not so excited about or nervous about? Evan (01:46) Um, I'm used to really small classrooms. Like at my school we only have like three kids in the classroom. Jennifer (01:50) That's right. Three or four kids. And what have you enjoyed most about your time at the Southport School? Evan (01:59) Just how they're not super straightforward. It's not like you're rushed on anything. They give you a bunch of time. Jennifer (02:06) Mhm, and you were able to go from not being able to read at the end of second grade Ecan To being able to read. Jennifer To being able to being a pretty good reader now, right? Evan Mhm Jennifer That's really exciting. A lot has happened in the three years that you were there. Awesome. Evan (02:21) How did you feel like when you first learned I had dyslexia? Jennifer (02:25) I felt relieved because I knew and that's I thought it was. And everyone kept telling me, I don't know, I don't know. And so once you understand or you know what's going on, then we could help provide the support that you needed. Right? Evan Yeah. Jennifer So first you have to know, and then you can do something Evan Mhm Jennifer Then we can take action. So I felt actually relieved and not crazy anymore. Evan (02:53) Yeah. Jennifer Yeah. Jennifer (02:56) So by way of background, I spent almost 20 years in public relations. I was doing PR consulting during COVID and sitting next to Evan during the day, you know, during Zoom calls and realizing that he just wasn't learning to read like my older two. And every child is different, right? But I also feel like there's a process that you go through when you're learning to read and he just wasn't catching on the same way. And the irony was, my mother-in-law is a retired reading specialist. So she would zoom in every day and help him with some of his skills. And she kept saying, he's going to get it, he's going to get it. And I said, mmmm, there's something here. I don't think so. I mean, we literally would have these, you know, the oversized Post-It notes like all over with words or whatever she was trying to teach him. We would wear words on our heads, have them on the door. Like, didn't matter, would not remember any of it. The following year with the hybrid schedule, said, this isn't going to work. So he put him in a Catholic school and they insisted like smaller class size, different curriculum. He'll be, he'll be fine. And they were just giving him A's in reading and he still was not reading at all. So we had him evaluated in the district, kind of mid-year of first grade year. They saw some deficits. So we brought him back in and he started to receive support, but it still wasn't enough and we made it through second grade and literally by the end of second grade, he still couldn't read the word cat. He was really emotionally distraught, just melting down at home, just having full- on crying fits. I mean, it was just awful, right? You watch your kid going, you know, a happy child entering kindergarten to just really falling apart and not being able to read by the end of second grade. So, luckily it all worked out where he went to the Southport school for three years. Within a few months of being there, he started to learn how to read. And, um, his sense of self was restored. He was a happy kiddo. He just knew that was the place for him and where he needed to be then in his life. And so we went and supported that the best way that we could. And I think this whole process, what I realized as a parent is that one, you definitely have to trust your instinct. Although you put a lot of faith in the school and people have the very best intentions, I think it's really important to be curious and to question. So I learned through the process, I educated myself, I dove in head first and took any type of course I could on advocacy and special education and dyslexia. I found that really helpful. And I just wanted to be able to share that knowledge with others so that they weren't going through or they didn't have to go through what we went through. Um, the more I dove in, the more I heard that my story is really not unique. This is very similar, not only throughout our state, but across the country. And for some reason, although we've known about dyslexia for probably a hundred years, we still haven't figured out how to teach our students in the classroom, right? We remove them from the classroom, we give them some services in isolation, and then we put them back in and expect them at such a young age to be able to generalize that information. And it's just, it’s not happening. And it's a really cause, a cause for stress for these students. We've seen a lot of mental health issues, a lot of students who are diagnosed really late. It affects the whole family, right? So it affects the family dynamic. If a child is struggling or really not getting the, you know, services or access that they need, I've watched families, you know, take out another mortgage on their house, use their 401k, take out a line of credit. Just so that their children can learn how to read. And, you know, luckily some people have the resources to do that, but that's not really how it should be. All of our students, um, should be learning how to read. I'm really hoping that we can empower our teachers and train them well, so that this is not an issue for families in the future. Because reading sets us up for success in life, right? So Evan, you're gonna go back into public school and what are we thinking could be challenging? Evan (07:17) Um, I guess having more kids in the classroom. Jennifer Yeah Evan So I guess like reading again Jennifer (07:23) Reading again in a bigger setting. Evan Yeah. Jennifer Because is that hard for you? Evan Uh-huh. Yea, but you have some great tools now. What are some of the tools that you use? Evan An iPad. Jennifer Your iPad and what are the technology tools on there? Evan (07:36) I can put in my headphones if I need to like block out any noise or anything. I can take a picture of the words if I need them to read it to me. Jennifer (07:44) Yeah, the read to you feature is helpful, right? Evan Mhm. Jennifer I think speech to text you find really helpful? Evan Yeah Jennifer Because I'm assuming when you try to write the answers, it might take you a bit longer Evan Yeah Jennifer Than someone else because you're also trying to think of still how to spell the words, right? Spelling is a little challenging. Evan Yeah Jennifer What do you think you'd love for your teachers to know about you as a dyslexic learner? Evan (08:11) It's gonna be harder for me to like read and learn Jennifer (08:14) And we would hope that they have some empathy for you, right? And understanding that it's going to take you a bit longer, but you're still just as smart as all the other kids in the class, right? Evan Mhm Jennifer Yeah. How would you explain dyslexia to your teacher? Evan (08:28) It makes it harder to read, like you can't process it, feel like. Jennifer (08:32) Mhm, mhm. Anything else that you'd want to share about yourself or your dyslexia? Evan (08:36) Yeah, it's okay to like, take breaks I guess. That's something I always do. Jennifer (08:42) Yeah, yeah, and keep your head up, right? Evan Mhm Jennifer We all move through challenging times. Evan Yeah. Jennifer Yeah, but you have a good support system to help you, right? Evan Yeah.